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You were taken away so swiftly,
and now you're gone
Will I ever see you again?
Stay with us
I've only known you
for just a little while
it's never enough.
So come back to me, to us,
bring your smile, your cheer,
you, always the greatest,
My heart beats only for you
it provides the bass
for my life,
If I could only find the right note
and sing to you
a lullaby, a fight song,
a song to keep you close.
I was meant for you
you were meant for me
we have two hands, two arms, two legs,
and our two hearts beat as one.
You play the treble
I'll supply the bass
and together we'll be in harmony
to the beat of our stereo hearts.
I don't want to talk.
You stabbed me
then I stabbed you
mine was wrong
and so was yours
I don't know anymore.
but it seems you aren't,
and again, you don't believe me
which is why I stabbed you
in the first place.
So why are we going around
in this cycle?
Where is the begining,
and where is the end?
I see nothing,
but I can only hope it's there
because I don't want to do this anymore
with my best friend.
LifeI hate my life.
I want to die.
Now I know
That life would
Move on without me.
But that doesn't matter.
That my family
Would miss me.
That we don't know
What happens after death
It's a permanent solution
To a temporary problem.
Those reasons don't really matter to me.
It doesn't stop my way of thinking.
Suicide still sounds appealing.
People call me a coward
For running away from my problems
And maybe they're right.
But I don't see the light anymore.
And I just want to go away.
My life doesn't seem worth living.
My family would move on.
Things might now get better.
I believe we are reborn after death.
This 'temporary' problem has lasted years.
So I don't want to live.
I want to be a coward.
I want to run from my problems.
I want to die.
But for now
I'll hang on for a little longer.
Maybe I'll find hope again.
But I can't promise
That I'll always try to stay around.
My Darkest Fear
Traces of blood, everywhere I look around,
A desperate help request comes from nowhere,
I hear a scream, I can't move, I'm bound!
Somewhere far, I see a light,
Suddenly, from nothing, it just came to life.
I hear my name, it's echo floating in the air,
I see you down, but I can't see your face,
Your eyes are fixed on the ground, seems now you have fallen from grace
As I look closer ,all becomes so clear,
My heart starts to beat faster,
Over my spine I feel the claws of fear.
You are laying down, in a pool of blood,
Barely breathing, your color starts to fade away,
Your dark brown eyes turning into grey
Out of your lips comes a softly whisper,
Asking for help, searching for a savior.
I fall down on my knees,
I burst into tears,
In front of my eyes becomes so real-
My darkest fear
Desperate I shout, but theres nobody around,
I'm cursing this life, I hate that you left me behind!
I look at my hands, why am I holding this bloody knife?!
I hear a silent accuse,
Are you rea
Mommy, why'd you abort me?Dear Mommy,
I learned who I was going to be today. You were going to name me Mirabella, the name you had always wanted to give to your baby if you had a girl. You loved the name because it was unusual and you always wanted a daughter who would stand out of the crowd. Id have looked like daddy with my brown hair and blue eyes but I would have had your face. Youd want to spend every moment with me from the minute I was born and I would love you.
On my first day of kindergarten, Id cling to your leg but once you finally pried me off, I would have so much fun at school that Id never want to leave. Id get straight As all through school and Id spend a lot of time reading. That always gave you something to brag about since none of the other kids would ever read. I would have had quite an overactive imagination and you would constantly tell me I should write some of the books that I read.
You and daddy would look so proud on my first day of high school
To feel pain pursue,
To cry some more,
To cut my wrists,
Oh how I hate,
Losing faith again...
Sleeping With a Broken HeartAt night I feel your energy
Like you're lying in bed right next to me
Then I open my eyes and the truth is clear
That I'm all alone and you're not here
In my sleep sometimes I say your name
Reaching out for your hand, pulling back in shame
It's like longing for something that was never mine
Now I'm mourning what ended before it was time
Your scent still lingers in the air
Especially the lavender from your hair
When I notice, at first, it makes me smile
My smile then fades, after a very short while
Some people tell me I'm just in denial
But I know I'm not; I'm suffering a trial
Sometimes I write out letters to you
Telling you all I am going through
Though in the end, I just throw them away
Knowing if I sent them, you wouldn't stay
I guess it's safe to say that my heart is broken
From the words I wish you had never spoken
Every InchCut every inch
to feel the pain
a scar that leaves marks
on the arms that are hidden
Cut deep inside
just to feel it fully
to watch the blood pour down
on the arms that are jello....
Tears rolling down
cutting every inch....
just to feel it all
the pain deep inside
The tears burning my face
as i cut deep inside
to see the scars on my arms....
and the blood pouring down.....
Used to be little girlWaiting here day dreaming about a fairy tale wedding
Like a silly little girl would
At one point in time i was a happy silly little girl
But now i am not
I am that girl you get scared of
The one that is always were all black or all black in red
Never smiling, never talking unless have too, but always wearing arm warmers or something to cover her arms
I am that girl that cuts and burns her self
The one that is alway ways quiet and keeps to her self
The one always having some type of hard metal or rock blasting out her head phones
The one the eyes or always covered by her hair
But when he cam and saw her he didnt see all the bad things about here
He saw all the good he saw the beauty in here not the ugly
He saw what other people couldnt see
He saw that she is being abused and not loved
He was the one that saved her from her self
One makes me sleep
Through the night
So how many
Will it take
To add the day
How they call me
Louder and louder
Slowly I'm falling
Closer to giving in
Till I can make
It all go away
You think its
Being dead inside
Wanting to sleep
And never wake
Not knowing how
Not a day goes by
I dont ask myself
Does it hurt so bad
That its all I know
Not a day
That I dont ask
Or has it hurt so long
That all I am is
Oh sweet pills
How your call pulls me
A temtation so strong
I wish not to resist
Can I sleep
Rest in sweet peace
In your gentile embrace
I give in
Take me away
From the hell of reality
Hiding Emotionhiding my heart,
with an others love
with a push or a shove
to care or to cry
giving up on myself,
but still wanting to try
to muffle my pain
faking a smile,
mirage in the rain
Distaste for myself,
my mental disease
this merciless battle,
a change without ease
repeating the words
I know aren't true,
that I don't love you
When your Heart is Breaking
When your heart is breaking,
Who is to blame?
When you blame yourself for everything
is it true?
When nothing is true
when everything is a lie
how do you know what to believe?
When you can't believe anything you hear
what do you have to trust?
And when trust is broken
like a rusty chain,
and your heart is breaking
who is there to blame?
An endless cycle
a hopeless circle
do not get caught
or you will never get out.
And the angel
is pulled down by the demon
inside her - his? - soul
and his - her? - life seems to have no meaning
when their life is dying . . . .
where is the angel?
The angel, the tenshi, devaduta, angelos
ange, consumed by the diable
angel, torn by the diablo
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More